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QB

Player	Team
Ryan Fitzpatrick	Punters for MVP
Eli Manning	Wildcards
Caleb Hanie	Cuddly Babystealers
Philip Rivers	Super Bowl Shufflers
Tony Romo	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Drew Brees	Mel Kiper's lost son
Tom Brady	Drunken Polar Bears
Tim Tebow	The Sex Cannon
Rex Grossman	Toughactin Tinactins
Aaron Rodgers	HoneyBear Maulers
Alex Smith	Hire Denny Green
Cam Newton	Purple Cobras

WR

Player	Team
Percy Harvin	Punters for MVP
Dwayne Bowe	Wildcards
Jason Avant	Cuddly Babystealers
Eric Decker	Super Bowl Shufflers
Jordy Nelson	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Hakeem Nicks	Mel Kiper's lost son
Brandon Marshall	Drunken Polar Bears
Plaxico Burress	The Sex Cannon
Calvin Johnson	Toughactin Tinactins
Mario Manningham	HoneyBear Maulers
Vincent Jackson	Hire Denny Green
Wes Welker	Purple Cobras

WR

Player	Team
Nate Burleson	Punters for MVP
Nate Washington	Wildcards
Deion Branch	Cuddly Babystealers
DeSean Jackson	Super Bowl Shufflers
Steve Johnson	MobyDickInAFishBowl
A.J. Green	Mel Kiper's lost son
Marques Colston	Drunken Polar Bears
Dez Bryant	The Sex Cannon
Steve Smith	Toughactin Tinactins
Steve Breaston	HoneyBear Maulers
Larry Fitzgerald	Hire Denny Green
Roddy White	Purple Cobras

RB

Player	Team
Maurice Jones-Drew	Punters for MVP
Steven Jackson	Wildcards
Dexter McCluster	Cuddly Babystealers
Marshawn Lynch	Super Bowl Shufflers
Ray Rice	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Cedric Benson	Mel Kiper's lost son
LeSean McCoy	Drunken Polar Bears
BenJarvus Green-Ellis	The Sex Cannon
Arian Foster	Toughactin Tinactins
Frank Gore	HoneyBear Maulers
Mark Ingram II	Hire Denny Green
Willis McGahee	Purple Cobras

RB

Player	Team
Darren Sproles	Punters for MVP
Ahmad Bradshaw	Wildcards
Toby Gerhart	Cuddly Babystealers
LeGarrette Blount	Super Bowl Shufflers
Shonn Greene	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Ryan Mathews	Mel Kiper's lost son
DeAngelo Williams	Drunken Polar Bears
Peyton Hillis	The Sex Cannon
Chris Johnson	Toughactin Tinactins
Donald Brown	HoneyBear Maulers
Rashard Mendenhall	Hire Denny Green
Kahlil Bell	Purple Cobras

TE

Player	Team
Jason Witten	Punters for MVP
Jermaine Gresham	Wildcards
Vernon Davis	Cuddly Babystealers
Kellen Winslow	Super Bowl Shufflers
Brent Celek	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Jimmy Graham	Mel Kiper's lost son
Tony Gonzalez	Drunken Polar Bears
Scott Chandler	The Sex Cannon
Owen Daniels	Toughactin Tinactins
Jermichael Finley	HoneyBear Maulers
Rob Gronkowski	Hire Denny Green
Antonio Gates	Purple Cobras

W/R

Player	Team
Brandon Jacobs	Punters for MVP
C.J. Spiller	Wildcards
Mike Wallace	Cuddly Babystealers
Roy Helu	Super Bowl Shufflers
Kevin Smith	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Reggie Bush	Mel Kiper's lost son
Julio Jones	Drunken Polar Bears
Lance Moore	The Sex Cannon
Michael Turner	Toughactin Tinactins
Miles Austin	HoneyBear Maulers
Robert Meachem	Hire Denny Green
Laurent Robinson	Purple Cobras

K

Player	Team
Billy Cundiff	Punters for MVP
John Kasay	Wildcards
Robbie Gould	Cuddly Babystealers
Mason Crosby	Super Bowl Shufflers
Dan Bailey	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Stephen Gostkowski	Mel Kiper's lost son
Matt Bryant	Drunken Polar Bears
Mike Nugent	The Sex Cannon
David Akers	Toughactin Tinactins
Sebastian Janikowski	HoneyBear Maulers
Josh Brown	Hire Denny Green
Jason Hanson	Purple Cobras

DEF

Player	Team
Baltimore - DEF	Punters for MVP
San Francisco - DEF	Wildcards
New Orleans - DEF	Cuddly Babystealers
Green Bay - DEF	Super Bowl Shufflers
Cincinnati - DEF	MobyDickInAFishBowl
Miami - DEF	Mel Kiper's lost son
New England - DEF	Drunken Polar Bears
Chicago - DEF	The Sex Cannon
Tennessee - DEF	Toughactin Tinactins
Pittsburgh - DEF	HoneyBear Maulers
Los Angeles - DEF	Hire Denny Green
Detroit - DEF	Purple Cobras